"Taking responsibility" is not about being "to blame". Blame creates guilt, resentment, and diminishes self-worth. It's also destructive. No one wants to feel guilt, so we try to place it elsewhere and therefore blame each other. Taking responsibility means becoming aware of how your actions, energy, attitudes, and choices affect everyone with whom you interact. Your feelings such as fear, anger, sadness, or joy will affect all of your interactions, from your sweetheart to the bank clerk! Your self-acceptance, or lack of it; your feelings of self-worth, or lack of them; your feelings of guilt, shame, respect, or tolerance will all affect how you interact with your world.

When you "take responsibility", you realize you are responsible for how you act or react to situations in your life. You may be so angry, you feel like hurting someone. You are responsible for controlling yourself so that you don't. In your anger you may want to lash out and call names. You are responsible for waiting until you are calm and centered so you can talk about things rationally, in a way that doesn't add more fuel to the fire or emotionally hurt those you love. The bottom line is that you are responsible for being aware of how you affect your environment, and for finding a place of inner peace so that you can meet life's challenges with equanimity. This state is generally referred to as being “awake.” When we are awake, we see the effects of blame and judgment, and start to move away from non-productive interactions. We then free up enormous amounts of energy for activities which are much more pleasant.

There are many ways to do this including prayer, meditation, deep relaxation, visualization, yoga, breathing exercises, time in nature... to name a few. The focus is on coming to a place of stillness and peace within yourself. When you do this, you can perceive more clearly, how your thoughts, words and actions affect those around you. When you are calm inside you also receive inner guidance, make better choices and communicate more effectively.

Take responsibility for your inner peace first, and your life will improve.